


Proposal

by trascendenza



Category: Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-10
Updated: 2007-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"Earth to Don, Earth to Don.  Aliens have landed and the one named Lina is still after you and your—" he waggled his eyebrows, "earthly wares."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Proposal

"We gotta figure out a way to get this woman off my back." Don furiously wiped at the red lipstick marks peppering his cheeks, sitting in the seat next to Cosmo's marked _Producer._

"Don't tell me Lina's _still_ after you? Why, Kathy's been wearing that ring for two weeks now!" Cosmo elbowed Don with a smile, "even in this place full a stars, she's outshinin' 'em all with _that_ rock."

"Looks awful good on her, doesn't it?" Don's face got a faraway, romantically fuzzed look.

Cosmo snapped his fingers in front of his face, "Earth to Don, Earth to Don. Aliens have landed and the one named Lina is still after you and your—" he waggled his eyebrows, "earthly wares."

Don sighed. "She's after me, all right. What are we gonna do about it, Cos?"

They tapped their chins with their index fingers in unison for a few moments.

"I've got it!" Cosmo exclaimed, jumping up into his chair so he was crouching, simian-like.

Don was skeptical as he explained the plan, but as usual, Cosmo's enthusiasm and over-exuberant confidence filled in the gaps like liberally applied mental spackle.

Now they just had to get Kathy in on it.

*

"You want me to _what_?" Kathy screeched, Lina-style.

"Sweetie, I guarantee you. She'll go crazy." Don slipped an arm around her shoulder and put on his most winning smile.

"You two already have," she said, pursing her lips in disapproval.

"Exactly!" Cosmo put an arm around her other shoulder. "If there's one thing Lina don't like, it's what she don't understand—why, that's nearly everything, come to think of it—and this one'll have her head spinning so good it won't stop for weeks."

"Hmmm," was all she would accede.

"Hmmmmm," Don and Cosmo repeated, grinning like they'd already won.

*

"Don? Donnie, baby, where are you?" Lina's high-pitched whine cut across the empty lot. "You better not be playin' any games with me this time, Mister. I'm onto you. You think I'm stupid or somethin', but I'll show you. We're gonna have ourselves a real talk tonight and settle things, you betcha, and we can clear up all this nonsense about you gettin' married—"

She was cut off when the lot was suddenly lit with a flooding spotlight pointed right in her face and Don, Cosmo, and Kathy were skipping in a circle around her, sing-songing her name.

"Lina!"

"Lina!"

"Lina, _darling_!"

"What the heck is goin' on here?" She tried to back away but she kept bumping into one of them; they were too fast and agile for her and her five-pound fur coat.

"Well, gee, doll, we just wanted to give you a proper welcome to the family," Cosmo said, sidling up to her and gripping her shoulder, looking up at her with an angelic expression of innocence on his face.

Kathy grabbed hold of other shoulder, looking equally guileless. "We decided it was time, what with the marriage coming up and all."

"You see, Lina," Don began, casually leaning on a cane with one hand on his hip, his silhouette framed in the spotlight, "I've been trying to tell you all along." He inclined his heard towards Cosmo and Kathy. "I'm a package deal, honey."

"Package deal?" Her voice rose a few octaves with confusion and all three made an effort not to wince. "What d'you mean, Donnie? What are these two bozos doing here, anyway?"

Don smiled magnanimously. "You want me, Lina, you get the bozos too."

"Don't talk crazy," she said, trying to wriggle out of their smile-laden grasp. "I know you don't really like them, not like you like _me_."

Don twirled the cane in his fingers, looping it until it rested on his shoulders; he held onto it with both hands, crossing his feet at his ankles.

"Bozos?"

Cosmo and Kathy quickly detached from Lina and attached onto him.

"So, Bozo number one."

"Yes, Don?" Cosmo positively fluttered his eyelashes.

"Do I like you or don't I?"

"Well, in the ever-so-humble opinion of this Bozo, sir," Cosmo puckered up, "You sure do."

Don gave him a long and wholly unmistakable-for-anything-else kiss.

He straightened with another brilliant smile. "Bozo number two—"

"Oh, yes, Don?"

"—how about you?"

She immediately offered her lips up for the taking, which he did with relish.

"Wait!—how ever could I forget. One more question for you, Bozos."

They both gazed up at him adoringly.

"D'you like each other?"

They kissed like two turtle doves across his chest.

"Lina, darling," Don opened his arms wide, Cosmo and Kathy just after him, timed impeccably with their collective step forward. "Whaddya say?"

Her screams, loud enough to fill the entire lot and then some, were still drowned out by the sound of their helpless—and very celebratory—laughter.


End file.
